Underwear Bomber 2.0 Thwarted

People afraid of virtually non-existent threats can breathe a sigh of relief today as the CIA foiled yet another underwear bombing plot. To the astute among us, this will beg the question: did the CIA simply intervene to stop the attack, or did they have a hand in its inception?

The original underwear bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, had significant help from the US government. They nixed attempts to have his travel VISA revoked. They ignored pleas from the man’s own father. The US government even helped Umar get past security checks to board the plane with a defective bomb.

This is far from the first time American Intelligence agencies have defeated their own terrorist straw men. In 2010, the FBI masterminded several terrorist attacks which they promptly prevented, claiming victory for the good guys.

Repeating this strategy with underwear bomber 2.0, the CIA had an insider who warned of the impending attack. More than likely this insider was the would-be bomber himself.

Here’s how it plays out: the US plants an operative to convince people he wants to blow up a plane. He then finds someone to build him a bomb, after which he turns it in to US authorities. And voila – the CIA has saved the day once again.

With that, they’ve justified their own existence. As well, the US government solidified the case to continue using illegal drone strikes across foreign lands. Bloated defense budgets and blatant crimes against humanity are sure to be bolstered by this.

Plus, the icing on the cake is that the TSA has one more dubious reason to take their already ludicrous screening procedures even further. Prepare to be violated, wayward travelers!

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